Today was the last day of Synod so we went to Bende for the church service and for the Bishop to bless the Helping Hands School Bus. All the women were very well turned out in bright wrappers and big shinny headscarves so I felt a bit scruffy. I had wanted to wear my new dress but as it was not ready I did not have time to plan a good outfit. Pat the nurse was at the service and Dr Hans, so with Cecil and I, there were a total of four white people. The Bishop thought he was very lucky and prayed for the whites in several of his prayers. Sermons were given in English and then in Igbo, so as you can imagine it took quite a lot of time. The total length of the service was 5 hours and 7 minuets.
I was smart and had brought a bottle of juice with me. I cannot remember if I have written this but whenever there is an offering people dance to the offering box and snake around the church in a manner I have only ever done in communion. The dancing was lovely to see and gave the church a vibrant atmosphere. It made the people happy whilst they were giving. Being expected to join in was not so lovely. People mostly dance with a kind of marching shuffle and a wiggle in their hips and like bend over to point to the floor or point in different directions. They also hold their arms in an open ring and alternate lifting each arm from the shoulder. At one point the bishop stood at the front to teach the congregation a dance where everyone had to almost sit on the floor they danced so low. We had two offerings. I was getting quite hot so was tempted to try and slip out of the door so I could hide in the long grass outside and sleep in the fresh air. I decided that my white skin would probably get me noticed so I would just have to put up with the heat. There was a man at the end of our pew that owned a camera and wanted everyone to know that. He got up every time a new man came to the lectern and kept a note of the whole service in his exercise book. He pushed past me umpteen times before I decided that I would give him a new seat on my other side and not let him back. Next thing I knew the Bishop started chatting about the whites again and invited Cecil to the front, the German doctor Doctor Hans and his wife and called up Pat. He then asked me up. He asked Pat if she was married and she said she was and he said ahhh what God have bonded no man can put asunder. He asked if I was married yet and I said no, he was very happy and told me I was young and tender and he promised to find me a Nigerian husband! I was quite embarrassed for him to announce it to the whole massive church but I am getting use to being told to marry a Nigerian. I have to finish university and marry a real Nigerian and have a bouncing baby boy. I have to learn to farm and to cook garri. Whenever I make any excuse they tell me that if it happened with other volunteers then it can happen with me too.
When we got home to Amaudo we had a photography session for Reverend Timothy because he is actually a Very Reverend. This means he has been a reverend for 10 years and he is gong to have his induction service on the 18th of May, which means I am going to miss it. Anyway we had to take photographs for his invitation cards and maybe calendars. Martha had taken some he approved but when he printed them he said he did not look very happy or friendly. I agreed that they were bad photographs and we needed to make him laugh. The story that always puts a smile on his face was quite funny so I will tell you it now.
One day there was a bus going along the road and the driver accidentally knocked a man down. In that small part of Nigeria they believe in a life for a life so the crowd that saw the driver who had hit the man, dragged him out of the vehicle and beat him to death. After they had finished killing the driver the man that had been knocked down regained consciousness and stood up. One man shouted “Oh so you wish to live now? …. After we have killed this man for you? No, this cannot happen!” And the men were so cross they had killed the driver for nothing that they killed the man!
Rev Timothy Ogbonnaya
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