Friday 23rd May- Weave on/ Mr&Mrs Cabin Biscuite/ a nice surprise

It was Eunice turn to be fixing weave on. Her own was to be long hair. It reminded me of a conversation I had with Laura Carter where she told me that Beyonce did not have real hair and it was some really good wig. Now I am suspecting it is weave on but neither of us knew what weave on was. I really am learning some interesting things. Whilst this was going on I decided to sit down and draw Mr and Mrs Cabin biscuit. I eat Oxford Cabin Biscuit so much. I only stated buying them because of the packaging, and still feel that it is 80% due to the packaging that I eat them so much. They are Rich Tea and the box is massive.
Eunice, Martha and I had dinner. Eunice went to bed at 9 so Martha and I were just taking tea. Tea of the evening was Milo. This is a Nigerian brand of hot chocolate. I did not like it at first and missed the English brands (like Tesco and Waitrose own.) But what I was doing wrong was not adding enough powder and milk. Milo is actually very nice, chocolate with small malt and it’s slightly nutty. It is better than Hazlenut Options because Options has a fake flavour. Milo is like drinking praline.

There was a big noise at the gate and lots of shouting. It looked like a fight. I got my hopes up that it was my lost items returning but I decided it was a bit unrealistic. Then Ouku called me to tell me that my things had come back. A group of Okada boys were all holding on to an ugly looking youth. He was topless so they were holding on to his jeans and his arms and legs to stop him escaping. Most people from Amaudo heard the noise so came out from their houses to see what the matter was. Finding the items and the identity of the thief was such a relief because firstly everyone was worried it reflected badly on their country for me to be robbed. Secondly the thief did not come from the Amaudo centre neither was he a member of the local community. He was an outsider who had been hanging about doing useless things and had been causing trouble to the people of Okopedi for some time now.
People were shouting PRAIIIISSSEEEEE THE LORD!!! Hey, it was none of us, didn’t I say that all along?! Told you so it was an outsider. It’s none of us people. I knew it wasn’t so and so. Wow, what a happy news. Well done. I wanted to have my items back but they had to keep them as evidence. Kelechis brother was holding the bag.

Bro- Are all three your own?
Me- Three items?
Bro- Yes computer, I pod and this face torch
Me- Oh riiight this useless thing. Yes it is my own. Gosh that boy is a useless criminal everything he gathered was already broken. This thing stopped working almost a month ago.

Success- Carol do you want to know when you were robbed
Me- Yes go find out if it was whilst we were at dining or if I was stupid enough not to notice as soon as we got home.
Success- OK I will go ask him
[Goes to boy]
Success- Carol your not going to like this.
Me- Why?
Success- He said he robbed you by 4pm Saturday
[We both laugh]

I was so embarrassed. I laughed and laughed. It means I am so messy and untidy that it took me more than 30 hours to even notice I had been robbed. I felt well ashamed. It was bad enough that when I showed Cecil the cut in my blind and my room he exclaimed “Gosh, not only did he rob you he also trashed the place!”. And I had to admit that actually the trashing of the room was all my own work. It was worsened slightly because of my stirring up my room to look for the missing items. However everyone that knows me also knows how messy I am and how I like to spread all my mess to any place I can get away with extending it to. I am even getting in trouble by carrying useless things into Welfare Officers house to clutter him up like shoes and scarves and tins of food. I half wanted to phone my granny and tell her because I knew how much she would laugh but I was worried that she would feel angry/disappointed that I have never learned to become tidy yet.

The boy was taken into the office to talk to co-ordinator and Cecil. Welfare Officer is away so Martha and I went back to call him. It was getting late and I concluded that I would hear all the news in the morning until I would be sick to death of hearing so I may as well go back to my hot chocolate and hit the hay. We ended up going to bed at 1 so we were even confused where the time had gone.

Tuesday 22nd May- Retail therepy?!

We went for email and Benson took me shopping. I did not mean him to take me shopping but I had gone to use his connections with the police to be able to get a report to claim on my travel insurance. He said it would be ok and he bought me sweet corn, eggs and bread. I had to stop him and tell him to leave because the stress given to me from trying to manoeuvre about the market in a car was even greater than on foot. I surprised myself by finding that because the markets use to cause me so much stress. Coming out onto the road where the vehicles and bikes move would cause me to almost hyperventilate. Finding vehicle more stressful really shows how well I have adjusted to the environment.

Wednesday 21st May- Pet Bird

Eunice and Martha’s favourite doctor was staying this week Dr. Obayi (Oh-bye) He is such a hard working man. He likes to read medical books all through the evening sometimes till 2am. Everyone likes it when he comes to Amaudo because he really enjoys the work and engages with the residents. Ward round was magic. The doctor keenly drove on discussions into detail such fine detail. We explored if the jerky walking which quite a lot of residents have adopted could be a side effect of drugs or if those people have catatonic schizophrenia so it is a mental slight paralysis. This causes some of them to walk like zombies its quite weird sometimes because the drugs make them sleepy and some of them are very slow.

In the afternoon Martha made her hair into weave on. This is where you plat the hair and then sow on strips of hair over the top to create a Caucasian style of hair.

John the cook gave me a gift to cheer me up. He caught one of those small yellow and black birds that nest in the palm trees and kept it in his hands to give to me. When I came back to Eunices house and saw the bird I was so surprised to see it sitting in his hands. He tied a little rope on its leg to make a lead and I had a pet bird for the afternoon.
Some of the children from the village admired my bird and asked me to dash it them. I felt slightly bad that a small child wanted to enjoy the bird and I was just being a big kid. One of the residents came to beg me not to give it them. She said that over here people like to eat the birds so the children would only kill it. Eunice confirmed that the tiny bird makes a tasty snack. I let the bird go free back to his nest to live another day.

Tuesday 20th May- Nonya. yeah right.

I was up early again. I checked the door half expecting my items to be waiting to me. Everyone is still chatting about the thief but I am getting bored. Ernest called and said him and Nonya were coming soonish. I told them I was out of milk and please if they could help me because you can’t get powdered peak from Amaudo only evaporated milk.

I called up Amaudo UK and they said that I need to get a police report to be able to claim from my insurance. I have been warned against the police because they like money too much. If they come then they will like to do all kinds of funny things to be able to make the maximum amount of money. Catching money is even more important than catching the thief. If they come then they may start arresting innocent people to gather their bail money and will beat the people in prison and cause a lot of bother. From a utilitarian point of view, weighing up pleasure vs pain, it is much better I forget the claim and just buy new ones. I would rather I pay £150 to replace my I pod than risk an innocent village man jail and paying a bail of 3,000N. The lap top is an EEPC, a new small computer made for children that is only £200 to buy with all of the software already on it. My only regret is that the person will not be able to have any gain from the useless items and will not even be able to sell them. They are probably lying in the bush somewhere getting soaked in rain.

Kate UK told me that Nonya is away in South Africa staying in Cape Town. Nonya called me saying he was in Ummiah and could not come because he had spent the morning with a friend who had just come back from Lagos and now it was too late to think about coming to and from Amaudo with these bad roads. 30 minuets later that Ernest turned up. He said he did not want to disappoint me and that I needed milk. Nonya is sick in bed with malaria. I said is he not in Cape Town. He said Nonya is too sick to go to Cape Town so he missed his flight. I said how can that be if he phoned me asking to come yesterday and phoned me 30 minuets ago to tell me he was seeing a friend and would not be able to make it any more. Ernest spoke a lot of funny things. He emptied lots of photos of English people from his wallet and said how they were related to him. I was not really bothered as I have met plenty of whites from England so I don’t see them as anything amazing. He kept asking what to buy me as a gift as if I have no money of my own. What’s your shoe size? Do you like wrapper? Do you like Jeans trouser? What about cover shoe or do you only like sandal? What is the thing that would make you most happy? I looked at him long and hard. I said I know what you can buy me that would make me the most happy. A cold glass of semi-skimmed cow’s milk with a side plate of chocolate digestives and chocolate covered malted cow biscuits. He was stumped because fresh milk is not here and nor is there fridge freezers.

Monday 19th May- BLOOD OF JESUS/ HOLY GHOST-FIRE/ MAY GOD REVIEL THE SECRET

I did not sleep so well last night. I was awake at half 5. My house was very dark after Kelechi bolting all of the shutters locked so no light would enter (or any other thing for that matter). In chapel they annonced what had happened and said they were going to have an investigation all day starting from with in Amaudo and then spreading out. All of the residents houses were searched and all of the staff questioned, not because they were suspecting anyone but because every investigation needs to start from the middle and move outwards. From the centre Rev Kenneth went to the Mbukwa village and asked the youth leader to alert everyone that some items were stolen and everyone should keep their eyes open for when the thief dumps them or tries to sell them.

Residents do not steal electrical items. If a resident steals then they go for food items or clothing or money. There aren’t any residents that steal in Amaudo at the moment, it is usually when they are fresh from the street and if you are mindful of bringing your washing in as soon as it dries and don’t keep your food visible then it is easily avoidable. I have made friends with all of the workers on one level or another so in my mind I have already ruled out all of them. Cecil is in charge of sponsorship of children born to residents and some children from the village so knows the boys very well and likes them so much. The village people enjoy Amaudo, they are an extension of our community. They are free to come in jest with the staff and residents, lick mango, buy recharge card for topping up their phones from Martha and come and buy provisions in our shop. Every time I see anyone they are friendly and greet me so it also would be very hard to believe that someone from the close community could come and steel from Amaudo.

All I can know from the evidence at hand was that the thief was young and did not know the value or purpose of the items they stole. They did not see the need for the charger for the lap top or for the packaging which was easily locatable in my room. Chances are they will not know what an I pod is because I have only seen one boy using I tunes in he internet café in 2 months. The computer had some trouble over here and I need to get a new charger before it can work again and the I pod lost all of its music so both items are completely useless to everybody apart from me. I am partly responsible for the crime as I had been leaving one of my bed room shutters open at the back for light to get me up in the morning. I don’t like having them open at the front of the house for if anyone sees me sleeping in late or dressing. What I think happened is that the thief was licking mango and saw my shutter open and decided to have a look. Saw a lap top at the end of my bed and was tempted so tore the blind. Inside my room they thought if I steel this I may as well have a look about so then took the I pod. I can’t imagine they planned it because they should have had the sense to look for the chargers and other bits to go with the things.

Nonya called and asked if he could come see me in Amaudo. He is the adopted son of Ross Cowell so I am curious to meet him. He and his friend have been calling me quite a lot asking to take me round town and have now given up on me coming to them so said they would come to me. I said what had happened and they said they would come the next day.

Martha came back today from helping V/Rev Timothy. She was sorry for what happened and we ate food with Eunice.

Church was for me tonight. The sermon was on why it is wrong to steel and how it is a sin. Chapel usually ends at half 8 but we stayed on almost till 9 having an extra big prayer session lead by Rev Kenneth. He was pointing his hands and flailing his arms like a front crawl swimmer in a thunderstorm. BLOOD OF JESUS COVER THIS PLACE
HOLY SPIRIT
FIRE
MAY THE THEIF NEVER REST (AMEN)
GOD REVEIL THE THEIF (AMEN)
BLOOD OF JESUS
BRING OUT THE THEIF (AAAAMMMMEEENN)
GOD IN HEVEN YOU KNOW EVERYTHING REVIEL THE SECRET
REVIEL THE SECRET
HOLY SPIRIT
FIRE
STIKE DOWN THE CRIMINAL
CAST OUT EVEIL FROM OUR COMMUNITY AND VILLAGE
BLOOD OF JESUS PROTECT AMAUDO (AMEN)

Other things were said but I can’t really remember now. I have never had a prayer like that before. It shows that everyone really cares and is seriously angry about the crime. After such a lot of shouting and praying and screaming of Amen till peoples voices went horse it will be pretty bad if the items do not turn up.

Sunday 18th May- Induction of Very Rev Timothy and a nasty surprise for laters

Time for the long awaited service for the induction of Very Reverend Timothy. Amaudo took a vehicle and the Helping Hands bus to show our best support.

The service was good, we were in a cathedral and it was completely filled up with friends and well wishers. It was a normal service with a section for the induction, presentation of new cloth for him and blessings. Then he and his wife sat at the front and people came up and gave him gifts of money and pledges of money to congratulate him. When a person goes to the offering bole then they are given a calendar to keep in their house and remember the day. I know that my parents sent our gift through a bank transfer so did not feel the need to go and announce it because he knew and I knew so weather people know or not then it doesn’t matter. I sat and let everyone else fight for calendars. I was sitting next to Benson. He asked me if I would like to follow him to Abuja for a few days on business. I was not really sure what I will do there but I suppose it could be interesting.

My friend Rev Peter was doing the MC-ing for the event. He is a very funny reverend and I like him a lot. He asked why I did not announce my gift and if I meant I was a nun. I have been asked if I am a nun a couple of times. I guess nuns must be common over here. Being a white in traditional dress got a lot of attention, people where really pleased that I was ‘trying’ (at being a Nigerian I suppose). A lot of people noticed my chief beads and said oh baby are you a chief? And I would say yes. I was made chief on the 11th of May in Igbrerre last week as a matter of fact.

We came back in the afternoon and I decided to loose my attachments. It was big work and my hair underneath was spoilt and awful looking. I showered then sat with Eunice chatting until we went to dining. I am getting bored of rice with stew so we came back pretty quick. After Eunice went to give drugs Ansylem came to chat to me. He is an ex resident and fully stable. He has been to university to study accountancy so is intelligent and witty. We lay on our backs enjoying the concrete bench with our heads together sometimes lying on our fronts like we were having a girly sleep over. He was discharged from Amaudo in 2004, his twin brother came to the ceremony and gave Amaudo 22,000N and goat to eat. He is a big man and lives in Lagos and Port Harcourt. His mother is late but his father is still alive. He married a second wife who has born one child who Anasylem and his brother sponsor. The wife is not very nice to the children of the first wife. We chatted until the rain desturbed us and he left me to go to bed. I then called my home and spoke to each family member one by one.

Coming into my room I noticed the blind was open and torn. I did not have any light in my room because there was no fuel for the generator and I still don’t know how to on lantern. I ran to security and met Kelechi on the way. I showed him where my house had been entered and he helped my search if anyone was hiding. I then got security so I could have more light and went to wake up Eunice to find out where that ex resident was who had been hanging about all day. She had been sitting outside helping me loose my hair and then did her own so I hoped she would have noticed if someone had come whilst we were at dining. I didn’t notice anything funny before dining and I spent sometime wondering about my room getting changed so I was pretty sure that the burgerler came whilst I was at dining. They stole my lap top but left the charger behind even though it had been sitting on top of it. Then they stole my brand new I Pod classic (80 gig) but left all of the wires, head phones and speakers behind. We reported to co-ordinator and he came to see. Then Eunice made me a cup of tea and I sat with her and Kelechi. House Parents have to get up at 5 to take their baths and get up so that they can get their residents up and bathed at 6 and give them their drugs. I felt bad keeping them up, so after taking tea I was happy and told them to go and sleep. Eunice went but Kelechi stayed worrying about me. I said I was fine but he kept worrying if I would be scared and how someone could do this to me and why did it happen? He prayed and prayed and pleaded to God for the thief to be found. I told him to calm down and that I was already settled and quite ready to go to bed so he shouldn’t keep me up.

Saturday 17th May- Story time wiht Eunice

I should be setting foot in my house again today and unpacking my suite cases but instead I am playing in my goat farm with Kelechi. When he first saw the goats he just wanted to eat them, and they would run away from him. Today he has baby eating from his hand, I told him he has become too soft now so he will have trouble to kill them.
I have been enjoying relaxing in the sun with Sister Eunice licking mangos. Considering the cost of mango back home it feel pretty luxurious to be able to eat mango after mango, if you come to a bruise or a bad spot you can just chuck it into the bush an open another one. She told me any interesting things. Many people have come to me showing off that their relations own the land that Amaudo is built on. (This includes the Chaplin Rev Peter from Amaudo.) Eunice told me that before Ross came the land was Evil forest and nobody dared enter the bush to use it for building houses or making farm land. When Ross came and asked for the land they did not really mind because they thought it was cursed and useless so they all agreed she was welcome to it. When the work men came and cleared the bush and started making the compound beautiful, planting trees, making a farm and building houses suddenly the land became attractive again and people started digging up documents to work out who really had owned it. Then the people who claimed previous ownership felt they had rights to benefit from this new development. When the bell went for dining village people would come to eat. When new clothing came in for residents then the villagers would want to be given their own. Amaudo is helping the community around them and promised to help all of the landowners children go through their education as a way of thanking them. Amaudo have got electrics stepped down which they will benefit from when it gets fixed up properly. Some children from the village are under Amaudo sponsorship. Most of the staff come from close by. When Ross built the compound she said there was to be no fence or restriction of movement so that nobody is kept out and nobody is kept in Amaudo that wishes to leave.

Eunice told me about her praying at 2am because that the time when evil happens and the trouble she gets from the evil noises from the bush. The Owls cause her a lot of trouble, when they like to hoot in front of her house they go ‘woooo’ ‘ooooo’ and she has to get up to sing songs of praise to drive them away. She reads them Bible and prays till they go. Sometimes she can pray and sing from 12 till 3 am. She said that Rev Kenneth also joins in when he gets disturbed from the owls. Martha use to join in at first but began to feel it unproductive because she needs to learn to ignore them and not to let them disturb her sleep. She did however agree that evil spirits can enter animals such as owls and foxes.

Eunice took me to Ndewo market and to say hello again to her family. In the market I bought a new wrapper to keep unsown so I can tie wrapper like a skirt and be free. The wrapper goes down to my toes to protect me from insects that want to bite me and drink my blood. Martha went away today to go help V/Rev prepare for his induction. She works too hard, whilst he is away we will have to relax and make sure we are eating fine. I have managed my money very well. I budgeted to stay for 2 months and I still have £100 left. I will have to get some money sent out to help me with this month so let us enjoy the money.

Friday 16th May- Pat goes back to England alone....whilst i relax in the sun licking mango after mango

This is the day I should be travelling to Lagos and from Lagos to London to meet my family at the airport and drive back to Bristol. I was thinking what it must be like back home whilst licking mangos with Eunice and Rose. My friend Laura Carter who was traveling said when she came home England was cold, rainy and crap. I feel pretty lucky to be here still. Very Revered Timothy’s induction will be on Sunday so I was able to follow a vehicle out to town, buy lots of food and get another vehicle home. I bought a large round house loaf wider than my hips and as heavy as 4 ordinary loaves for 250N (just over £1). Apples are sold in Nigeria but are imported from South Africa so are small and expensive. I really miss apples.

Thursday 15th May- NEWSFLASH:Comfort washes cloth

Comfort is a stubborn washer. She is stubborn about bathing and refuses to keep her cloth. Dirty clothing just heaps up in a big pile and she will try to wear it over and over. She gives Eunice big work making her change it and burn the ones that smell bad. Seeing as I was having a laundry day I invited Comfort to come wash with me. We carried our cloth in buckets down to the pump and pumped and washed together. She did very well and I think she enjoyed the company. Eunice her house parent is on leave but I wish I could have shown her how well she did!

I decided to wear my george wrapper to church with a jumper because its comfortable and hides my legs from mosquitoes. I enjoy the way it looks. I think I will keep wearing it in England. When I came back from Chapel V/Rev said that I was not supposed to treat my cloth like that and it is too special for everyday usage. If I wear it in that manner I will offend the cloth and women will feel cross for me doing it like that. He said I should wear it with a lace blouse and keep it for a special occasion like his induction.

Wednesday 14th May- Pat & Television

We had two special visitors today. The first was a television crew to make a programme on Amaudo. The second was Pat the nurse from Wales who I had arranged to travel back with for company in Lagos.

The television crew were making a programme to raise awareness about Amaudo and show the people the problems that Amaudo are facing like the bad road. The presenter interviewed me and liked me so much she invited me to come for my own television interview and to stay at her house.
Kelechi went to Bende to get things for making a nice lunch for Pat when she came so that we could return her hospitable welcome. They were running late so I went to ward round.
When Pat came we took her on a tour of Amaudo to show her residents, the workshop which was holding the Adult Education Class at that time, dining, kitchen, goats the Chapel of Peace and everything. Martha plugged her some of our mango and she had to get going because of the bad roads to they would get back before dark. It felt funny saying goodbye to Pat knowing I was suppose to go with her. She said she had mixed feelings about going back. Nigeria is a very welcoming place and her training has been so much needed. Then again she has a husband and children and a job waiting for her back at home. Rolling hills and forests full of bluebells and fresh milk to drink. She has been married for 20 something years and never spent any time away from her husband. She said that after coming to Nigeria by herself for 2 months she will never be scared of living alone again. I thought that was a lovely thing to get from her trip.

Tuesday 13th May- Changed my visa and plane tickets

I got my visa extended for June and changed my flight tickets. It is now fixed that I will enjoy another month in Amaudo. I am wondering if I will even feel ready to go when the 21st of June comes. The things I miss about England are
1) Soft meat (chicken) (burgers) (lamb)
2) My bank account. I enjoy paying with plastic. Carrying money is a pain, its soft and torn and dirty and you have to carry everything you wish to spend.
3) Going to the pub

Coming back the rain was awful. I was scared, not for my life, but it was the kind of night where you could imagine having to get something amputated. The by the time we got to Bende road there was next to zero visibility and I asked V/Rev if we could pull over and sleep the night in the car. He said no and drove on puddles parting so high it was like Moses parting the Red Sea. I really feared the other motorists (if there were any) because we wouldn’t have been able to spot them and people drive crazy enough in fine weather conditions.

Monday 12th May- Cheif Caroline welcome home in Amaudo

Everyone was calling me Chief this morning. I felt glad that everyone had forgotten about the lateness issue and the no food issue and the scattering of the day and were giving me congratulations. I helped my new goat settle in that Benson gave me to replace the male that died on Thursday. He is a fine male with soft glossy fur my only problem is that he does not like to eat the biscuits I am using to tame them. Its kind of sad that the cheiftancy is over now. I had looked forward to it so much and i really badly wanted a crown. Apparently the man giving my speech again in Igbo completely messed it up and said I had lived in Nigeria since 1989 and had set up Amaudo and was now coming to Ibgeree to set up a new Amaudo. So everyone clapped. I did some much needed house work. My unwelcome guests, the lizard family, have been leaving little gifts behind for me and I am fed up of the ants helping me with my washing up.

Sunday 11th May- at last my CHEIFTANCY day!

Martha, Eunice and I left at 8 to be with Benson for 9 to be able to go to the service he has each Sunday with the poor from his village. We came in when he was going out and ended up sitting in his house watching movies till almost 11 before hearing anything. I was feeling slightly annoyed because I knew he had invited people for 11 on the card. The destitute were off hiding somewhere and no one could locate their service. And my clothing to wear to their service looked so beautiful and it was getting wasted inside the house.

Amaudo came but we waited for hours for King Joseph to turn up. The network services were all down so phone calls were pretty impossible. I changed into my george wrapper and white blouse for the ceremony. I felt so grown up stepping out in such fine clothing. The white lace shirt resembled the top of a wedding gown, the make up painted my face fine enough for television, the shoes made me stand better and more feminine and the canopy added two or three feet to my height. Because of the time delay they decided to make the service as short as possible.

I was presented a certificate and given the title ADA DI NA MBA I then presented a short speech to say thank you and to outline what I had done in Amaudo to explain why I had been made a chief. Then an interpretator gave my speech again in Igbo and I went outside to dance. I was slightly wondering what had happened to my horse tail, fan and crown I had been promised but I decided it was a gift so whatever happens I will be grateful for.

After the ceremony we danced back to the house. Amaudo left to race it back in time for dining because there was no food provided. I thought it was a bit odd because Benson had said invite loads of people because there will be plenty to eat. I then found out it was traditional for me to bring the food so that was a bit frustrating because I could easily have done that if I knew I was suppose to do that.

Then we met up with the destitute. It was pretty nice everyone was singing and dancing for me. Most of them were pretty poor, there were blind, and people with physical disabilities but they all had each other and their families around them and belonged to the community so where not destitute. It made me wonder if Benson had really spent enough time at Amaudo talking to the residents and staff to fully understand who we care for and their position before we trace their homes, medicate them and modify their behaviour to the point they can be rehabilitated home and can learn a trade to support themselves. Anyway he tries a lot for Amaudo and respects the work. These Igberee people are his own people and it is good that he is doing all these things for him because so many people get money and forget their roots and their people. As their new chief I gave them some money for feeding so they were happy.

Oh i almost forgot to mention that Benson's gift to me was to replace my male goat that died wiht one of his. This new male is black, looks pretty strong and is a year or so older so i feel pretty lucky!!!!

Saturday 10th May- 1 more day to go till i become a cheif

I was tempted to go to town to choose my shoes and head tie since Bensons girls had decided to change them from red to gold but I was feeling too tired. Instead I went with Kelechi and Ansylem to go tend for my goats. Seeing as baby is still a bit sick I decided to clear their pen fully and clean it up very fine to prevent disease. We cleared the big pile of sticks and rubbish out from by the door and used big knives to chop away all of the stupid little plants that were growing wild and messy. I asked Kelechi to get rid of the funny lumpy grown on the floor, Ansylem said that ants lived in it but I thought he was joking so I ordered it to be removed. A few minuets later I was walking over the area and found big ants on my feet biting me. It hurt so much I jumped onto the wall to escape and nurse my foot and refused to come down to all the work was finished. It took all morning and was hard work but we did a good job so I was pleased. I bought biscuits and juice to celebrate the big work with my boys and then enjoyed a short sleep before sitting down to plan my speech.

I showed Eunice my cloth and dressed up in it, did my make-up and practised dancing about my house. Cecil had been in England for three weeks so my mother was able to send me my make-up kit for tomorrow, some instant coffee, a couple of jigsaws for Wonderful School and some more malaria pills for extending my stay. I was excited about tomorrow and wanted V/Rev to come back to plan vehicle movement.

For dinner V/Rev, Martha and I ate Irish potato chips and I chatted away about tomorrow like a small child waiting for Christmas. I was actually more excited than I have been about Christmas for the past 12 or something years. V/Rev made me a hot chocolate and put me to bed early. It has become a habit that after sharing food, drink and company with Martha and himself he will always help carry my things back to my house and check for visitors. At first it was ants that would always be in my house getting at my food and he would come and stamp on them for me. There has been giant millipedes, praying mantis, grasshoppers and crickets. My most recent trouble has been snake-lizard. One of them has decided to make its home in my scarf and keeps leaving droppings on my bookcase. One morning I was trying to tie the scarf for church and it hung on so I was wearing it like a broach till I noticed and threw it screaming across the room.

Friday 9th May- Going into town on my own to collect my cheiftancy cloth!

The mechanic was moving out to town at 10 so I was argued into entering the vehicle 2 or 3 hours before I intended to leave. I was in town by half 11 so decided to have a wander around the market and enjoy being free to stop and look at anything that caught my eye with out worrying where Martha was walking. Shopping free from time constraints was another luxury. I wanted to get some make up and beads for my chieftaincy ceremony and then see what else looked good.

I went to the part where the Alsa people come to sell. I asked the advice of a girl on what beads I needed to get and she was kind enough to take me away from the stall and lead my through the market to the correct shop. The asking price was 800N for necklace, earrings and bracelet. We reduced it to 250N although I am not sure what happened to my bracelet. As soon as she left my side I stood out like a beautiful zebra that had run loose in the market. Everyone was shouting at me and wanting to catch me and got overly excited when I trotted past. What will you buy Mrs White? What do you need?….NOTHING!! I do not need to buy anything!!! And they would laugh and leave me. I had fun exploring and teasing the market people by running back and forth past their shop it was a good learning experience to practising pricing. I got things cheaper than even Eunice and Martha can get them but as I did not know the value of the items I did not realise what was happening so I just laughed and ran away whenever anyone thought they had a sale. I ventured into the market so deep I found the farm section where they sell chickens. A big turkey escaped from his cage and came to frighten me. I did not like that ugly bird one bit. I saw a funny looking bird lying on the floor. He was squawking and blinking at me. It took me some seconds to realise that it was a chicken that had had his feathers and head skinned off and that, that was what I was looking at. It was strange seeing a living head. I wonder what his body was up to if it was running about also or if they had it tied up with rope?

I went back to the Alsa people to buy eye liner. One man told me it was 40N but I did not like his colours. I found one I wanted and suddenly the price was 100N. I told the boy he was being cheeky and I would never talk to him again. He was then begging me to have it for 50N. I said it was too late and I skipped off. I got a green one and a double colour black/white one both for 40N. I met a friendly fat man who I wanted to buy a horse pendent from. His sister said 600N but we played and joked for almost 20 minuets because I had nothing better to do. In the end I told him that it was tacky and going to spoil too fast and probably turn my skin green so it would be 200N and put the money down and took the horse and ran away. I came back again and he tired to sell me necklaces with baby scorpions in that glowed in the dark. He sells with his sister and they kept my company till I decided it was close enough to 3 for me to go to Benson early.

Bensons securities love me too much. Benson was held in a meeting till after 4 so we had plenty of time to joking and story telling. They had their lunch brake whilst I was there and shared to me. We ate roasted yam with some green vegetable sauce. It was actually surprisingly good. If I see it being sold again I will defiantly buy some. At 4 Benson came out and gave me Innocent to drive us to my tailor. The tailor was a horrible woman. She had sown my cloth too small so I could not even get the shirt on. The lace skirt was skin tight. I joked that I had fatted from eating too much garri. The joke wore thin by the time I got to my white lace shirt where she had to adjust it three times before I could get it on. I abused her and abused her how dare she make a cloth I can not enter. She took my measurements and if she wants to ignore them and do it wrong she should at least make it too big and then reduce it so I would feel complemented not insulted. We all laughed. Its quite fun being able Welfare officer called to say him and Martha would not be coming home that night and would not be coming to collect me. I was annoyed because it was half 5 and I was still in the tailor. When we got back I told Benson I was not getting my lift so he helped me to Bende and gave me a bike home. I was back in Amaudo just seconds before the heavens broke and the rain fell. It truly is rainy season now.

Thursday 8th May- Repatriation & Making hair

Eunice as the Amaudo nurse was doing repatriation and asked me to come along and see. She phoned her favourite bike driver Kwufire (coo-free). The road was horrid but he drove well. When we got to the bad place we saw a bike carrying a boy and a fat woman carrying a bag of garry. When they tired to pass on the road infront of us the weight was too much for the bike so it escaped out from underneath them throwing them into the mud. All of our residents were able to receive their monthly modicate. The only report is that now one of the patients changed to go to town to receive drugs, this sounded funny because the ones he receives from Amaudo are free. Eunice said she would try and check up on them soon.

We got to Eunice took me to her village in Ndiwo to get my hair platted for my chieftaincy so I will look like a proper Nigerian Chief. I had grown to enjoy the Ghana weaving that Martha had done so was apprehensive of getting a new style. We settled on Bob Marley and got to work at around 4pm. It was a slow and painful process for everyone involved. I would say especially me because of the small small hairs they were pulling and binding but everyone was getting hungry and working against the clock because it starts getting dark at 6. At one point I had 3 different people working on my hair!
Whilst we were platting a group of women came along dancing and singing. They were coming to celebrate the birth of a new child so were very happy praising God and sharing powder (talc) with everyone to rub on their necks and faces to share the good news. (That’s why the small child in the photo has a white face!) When we had finally finished they dipped the hair in boiling water to make the ends go curly and stop them unraveling and packed it into a tight bun so it would dry pretty.


We got home at half past 8. It was a long day but the hair was very beutiful. The woman after 3 and a half-hours platting only asked for 550N. 250N was for getting another packet of attachments and that left 300N for the labour. It means they were working for about 35pence an hour. I feel slightly bad, even though they were more than happy to do it, maybe when I make my hair before I go back to England I will tip her but I did not have much cash.

THE END RESULTS........

Wednesday 7th May- No place like home!

I caught my goat myself this morning! I think they are getting use to me now. The baby girl was looking a bit sick so we took her out to graze. We put fire so she would not feel the cold when she needed to go back home.

I did some typing for V/Rev and then some more from Rev David for Project Comfort. I relaxed and spent time wandering about the compound chatting to staff and residents. I am really at home here.

Tuesday 6th May- I really want to stay in Amaudo longer

Tried to change my visor so I could exchange my flight tickets and extend my stay. I am too at home in Amaudo and after being sick for the past while I have not finished my work. It feels funny to think I should be back in England in the next 10 days. Thinking about it there is not really that much to go back for compared to what I have here. I feel that living in Amaudo alongside the destitue that we pick and trying to help them is far more important work than struggling to restore my bank balance to its post Nigeria glory.

After being sick a sharp pain has remained in my chest when I swallow food so I was still a bit weak. The visor men were messing about so we left to collect my card and visit Benson. We chased some donations and followed up money. V/Rev is working very hard to make sure Amaudo does not suffer in this financial crisis. Rather to carry her from strength to strength; as a service to the community, Abia State, and a means of serving the Lord.

Monday 5th May- Sorting staff files

Martha and I went out to Project Comfort and Amaudo 2 to check over staff files and make sure that all the necessary documents are all present and signed.

It was nice to see the Project Comfort staff again. They were full of jokes and jest. I never imagined that a personal details form could cause so much head ache

Who is my next of kin?
=>Your mother or your farther
But my mummy is old.
=>What does that matter? She is still your next of kin. If you were hurt would you not want her to be the first to know?
Errrmmmmmmmmmmmm……
=>Ok, put your brother/ sister. But see there is another space for calling another person


Other person to contact…..can that be my girlfriend?
=Sure, why not?
Ok then, write your number here
=> (laughs) no.
Why?
=> Because I am not your girlfriend and if they call me in England then there is nothing I can do for you?

In Amaudo 2 Rev David was paying his PC boys to clear trees from the edge of the farm land because of a government promise to build a school in Ntkalako for physically and mentally disabled children. The road down to Amaudo 2 is pretty horrific at the moment and it’s a pretty remote place so it will be a residential school. Boarding school is pretty common over here. Having the school there will be good because they will have a playground and lots more friends for the residents and the people attending Wonderful School. It was a hot day so we dropped past Andrews’s house and collected some palm wine. Andrew is a taper and always loves to welcome visitors to his home and cares very fine. He is a good host and I felt bad for not going to see him again after the first visit.

Sunday 4th May- Joint Amaudo 1&2 sercive

I took it easy. There was a joint Amaudo 1 and Amaudo 2 service so I made sure I came to church even though I was 40 minuets late in what can be a 3 hour service it is excusable. All of the children of Wonderful School gave me warm greetings and asked me to come back soon. Happiness also came to ask me to come back. I really should go back sometime soon.

Saturday May 3rd- SICKEST I HAVE BEEN IN MY LIFE LIKE EVER!

This morning I could not get out of bed. It took me till 9 before I shifted from sweating in bed to pressing my body against the cold concrete floor. My body was so void of strength my plan was just to lie where someone can see me when they realise I am missing and come to rescue me. I was hoping Kelechi would still come check me, the resident he usually uses to report back on me came to the window and asked me what I was up to. I hoped he would tell Kelechi and he would come save me but the two did not meet for the rest of the day.

Martha found me. She said she had been in the office and had not wanted to disturb me before 12 incase I was enjoying sleep. She gathered me into Welfare Officers house and I lay on his bed drifting in and out of light sleep. Martha cooked a special pasta meal to tempt me to eat but the spice made me vomit. I was hot and cold and feeling scared that I had not been taking my Malarone malaria prevention tablets exactly at 9 on the dot each night. Rather waiting for food for 20/30 mins for forgetting till 10. When I tired to go to my room I was trying to do the lock when I blacked out and fell shaking on the floor. Martha saw and ran to carry me back to bed. It was a very scary feeling.

I tried had this evening to take some food. I settled for English Breakfast Tea with Cabin biscuit and bread to dunk in. Really worn out. Oh and the doctor that was suppose to come this week decided not to bother.

Friday 2nd May- getting invertation cards printed

Eunice dressed me up in a canopy and jewellery to take the photograph for my chieftaincy invitation card. I am getting pretty excited now, he is making hunderds of invites so should be a big day!

We went to town and did email and went to the printer. It rained horridly so was scary going about on bike, but we were able to get everything done and did our food shopping. Welfare Officer is still away but he had left Martha the key to his house because he has two stoves so its better to cook in. In the evening we ate yam chips with egg and Eunice, Martha and I watched a movie about a bank robbery.

Sunday 4th May- Amaudo 1&2 joint service

I took it easy and slept a lot. There was a joint Amaudo 1 and Amaudo 2 service so I made sure I came to church even though I was 40 minuets late in what can be a 3 hour service it is excusable. All of the children of Wonderful School gave me warm greetings and asked me to come back soon. Happiness also came to ask me to come back. I really should go back sometime soon.

Thursday 1st May- Visit to Igberre

Nigerian public holiday. I had not seen my goats for a day or two now so went to say good morning. The male was lying down with diarrhoea (or podgeing and they call it), runny nose and his body was so cold to touch. I called some residents to put fire and I stroked him to warm his body and scratched his beard and his ears to try and make him feel comforted. It pained me to see he had fallen sick when I had only bought him 11 days ago. Co-ordinator told me the baby boy was sick yesterday but he did not want to worry me. I was pissed off because I felt seeing as I am the owner of the goats I should have a right to know what is happening. Technically I purchased one goat from the fundraising money that Westbury Park Community have worked so committed to give and the other is from my pocket but I picked them both, love them both, and have put in a lot of effort to check them and make them settle in.

Martha and I went to Benson to talk about my invitation cards. I was stronger today and always enjoy the breeze you get from travelling on bike. The sun was warm but manageable. We had a nice bike boy who carried the both of us for 500N and we all jested together.

Benson was surprised that I had come on bike and was not happy. He said it was not a good method of travel for me and would have rather I phoned him from Bende where I left the Amaudo vehicle and he would have driven himself to pick us up. I laughed at him and said if its good enough for Martha then it is good enough for me and although I was scared at first I have long since learned to enjoy bikes.

Bensons daughter was off school from Lagos so her and her cousin came out with us for an outing.We met Bensons mother in the adjacent compound and then went to see his village and all the children and destitute he cares for. Walking through the windy narrow walk ways reminded me of the old towns I had visited in Italy. Benson apologised for if I was to become sad at being exposed to the poverty these people are living in. Collecting and drinking rain water, not clothing fine, having mud houses and no electricity I could not reply because I was afraid he would think I was selfish if I told him I felt too lucky to be walking about a remote village…how many English even come to Nigeria? And then how many to Abia State? It narrows down so small that I stand a good chance of being the first white the children have seen. (There had been a white man a while ago so some older women were asking if I was that mans daughter) The children skipped after me as if I was the pied piper, they came out from almost every house I past to see the white woman, They wanted to touch my skin and enjoyed being photographed.

On the way to the second village we saw 3 vulchers. They reminded me of my sister Joanna and watching Jungle Book so I snapped them for her.

Coincidentally where we stopped the car there was a pathway leading into the bush. The path was good so I was able to see the soldier ants. The air was humid enough for me to believe I was actually entering rain forest. I keep seeing bush and it never looks as exciting as they make it on wildlife programmes or in movies. We walked until we found a clearing where they tap palm wine. There was a man just finishing work so we were able to buy it as fresh as can be. This time when I took palm wine I enjoyed it so much because it feels refreshing and cooling. If I could choose mineral (coke/ fanta), cold water or palm wine I would pick palm wine. When it is fresh the alcohol content is very low and the longer you keep it the more it ferments.
Bensons daughter wanted to take me to the river to paddle. The sun was hot so we picked big umbrella leaves to give us shade.
Coming to the second village I saw Evil Forest which is where the villagers (traditionally/but maybe now) throw evil things. So all of the bodies of those who have died in funny/abnormal ways that caused fear so any disease that was not understood and looked as though it was the work of witches e.g. TB and people that died of strange swellings. They would also throw twins into the forest sometimes with the mother because they felt it unnatural. We visited a compound that only housed old women. All these women had once been married to one man and he kept them all in separate mini houses. There were 30 or more than houses! All of the women would go to work on his farm for free and had born children to help out on the farm and to look after the man in his old age. Now that the man has died the women are left with nothing and are all too old to marry again so it is unimaginably tough.

When we got home Benson gave me 3 bottles of wine as a gift. This is because I had told him I was offended when the waitress at Former Governors house asked me what I would drink and I told her a glass of red or white and she brought me a whole tray of soft drinks, non alcoholic beer and water. He drove us to Bende but was forced to stop because Bende road is so notoriously bad we all knew that his car would not make it. You need to have a Jeep, and event those get scattered far sooner than their life expectancy. I was feeling content and wanted to take Martha to lunch. We went to a little make shift café and I took 100N rice and stew. Martha took garri and agusi soup with added bush meat. She drank 7up and I ordered beer and got a 66cl bottle for 150N (70p). By the end of the meal I still had change from a fiver. It is a bit of a joke because where I work you can’t even buy a 66cl bottle of beer with a fiver!

When I got back Success told me that my goat had been killed. I was pretty sad and even shed a little tear. Everyone else was happy because there was meat in the stew that night. They promised it was not my goat but I said I was not that gullible and would not take dinner. I don’t even enjoy meat over here because they cook it so tough it becomes an effort to chew so I dash it out. Poor little boy only lasted 11 days.

Wednesday 30th April- grumpy doctor sucks the fun from Ward Round

Wednesdays are ward round, which is always interesting to attend if you have the chance. First is the problem card from House Parent Favour. Then nurse Eunice and the doctor for the week reads the medical report. Workshop gives a progress report and Rev Peter gives his chaplains report. We all have a get togeather and have long descussions about the residents and what can be done to help them get better as quick as possiable and descuss what is holding them back. This week’s doctor was inhumanly grumpy to the point I pray he will reconsider his career choice and work with machines instead. It was such a constant to the last weeks who was so full of laughter and good will. He had got sick one night and I gave him some of my English drugs to make him better and ensure we would not have to loose him before wardround. The next day he was praising the lord and testifying that he has been cured. He enjoyed my dehydration salts to much he admitted to taking an extra unnecessary one in the morning just so he could enjoy the blackcurrant flavour.

Tuesday 19th April- Still sick

Still feeling pretty ill. I had been up since 4am vomiting all over my porch and cactus. Missed church. Eunice the nurse came to see me (casually) and said there was an all staff meeting at 9 so I got myself fed and took my bath so I could go. News was grim about finances, it was all things I had heard about from the financial crisis meeting so I was not surprised. I can’t really remember the meeting to tell the truth just that it had a mellow to bleak atmosphere and jokes where scarce. Afterwards Success came to keep me company. I did some art and slept off.

Monday 28th April- Not feeling fine.

I did not sleep fine last night. I was hot and cold and awake a lot in the night. I was weak and Kelechi came to check me and bring my breakfast from dinning for me. He kept begging me to get out of bed and to eat. I ate and vomited it all up again. I told him I knew that i did not wish to take rice and stew. He was very nice to me and poured water on my head and washed my hair. I thought this was strange behaviour but apparently that what they do over here to revive someone that is week or vomiting.

He was being a sweetie and tidied my house, washed up, cooked me super noodles and washed some of my clothing for me. I was very weak and spent most of the day sleeping.

Sunday 27th April- Port Harcourt Outing Service

Port Harcourt outing service. I was in my shower by 6am this morning, as we needed to leave at 7 on the dot. An outing service is where you go to a church and speak about Amaudo and collect donations. The churches had been briefed on Amaudo for the past 1 week so we had high hopes. Apparently V/Rev had enjoyed himself because he was telling people about the visit and dining so I felt happy that he was happy and concluded he was probably exhausted in the car.
For the church I was going to I had two residents and was the accompany of Rev David the Project Comfort Co-ordinator, I travelled in a different car to David so did not actually get to talk to him that day. Church was long but I have to admit that the preacher for the sermon was rather good. I only looked at the clock twice in his hour plus long preaching slot. He kept talking about Jesus being the light of the world and explaining what darkness is. E.g. girls that put on traditional clothing and look very fine for church but the next day will be exposing their bodies in short skirts and low tops. E.g. when a wife asks a husband for 500N for milk and he takes money from his pocked in a way to hide the amount of cash he has from his wife so she won’t ask for any more. E.g. when your wife has got old and fatted after giving birth to all your wonderful children no longer being proud of that woman. Maybe looking at younger women or no longer keeping photos of the wife in the office and about the house for people to see. After 2 hours and 45 minuets of church I began to wonder when Amaudo would actually be recognised and we would be able to make a speech. I longed to enter the section for Reverends and speak to Rev David so I would sit easy. He read bible. I was shown to the church as a guest and new member of the church from Amaudo but still nothing said about Amaudo. In the end I gave up and walked to the front and asked to make a speech. I had low blood sugars and my speech was not planned out well so I just got up and spoke complete rubbish. I sat back down and spent the rest of the service hiding under my hat trying not to cry. I was so disappointed that I had spoken so badly at a time that was not the correct time.

Coming home I felt wrecked and pre-menstrual. The outing service was pretty successful even though one church decided to rearrange out visit.

Saturday 26th April- Bishops Son's White Wedding and dining wiht Orji Uzor Kalu Former Govener of Abia State!!!

Saturday 26th April
Part two of the Bishops Son’s wedding: White Wedding (English Style). I can not really say I was in the mood for a wedding. I got out of the wrong side of bed and was feeling pretty grumpy. I have had a very busy week and had sacrificed last Saturday to watch them wed so why should I spend another day? I would rather sleep till 11 and then go meet Benson, go on a tour of his village and be introduced to the Former Governor of Abia State.

The wedding was pretty English if you ignored the processional music and the dancing up the isle…gosh. What was I expecting? If people dance and celebrate funerals in a joyful manner why would they start turning their wedding procession into a funeral march? The hymns were all old traditional English ones that I knew from growing up so I was able to enjoy knowing the tune and words so could sing well. I actually ended up enjoying myself until I checked the clock. One of the Revs was very funny in the service trying to hurry things up – he finished the choir and was advising them to leave the church. When they processed out they enjoy walking slow and sometimes even backwards. He was calling on them to hurry their dancing and to leave because there was lots more to do. Pat was there and Sister, and so was Doctor Hanz and his wife Mary. There were a couple of photographers mingling about snapping people and selling them their photographs for 50 naira. I snapped with Martha and the girls that work for Sister. I do not really like developing film cameras because you never know if you looked ok and to enjoy them I would either have to be blessed with a photogenic face or be willing to spend a lot of money to be able to get a nice photograph.

When the wedding was over we went to collect a gift for V/Rev Timothy to celebrate his induction. The persons house was close to Benson and Orji Uzor Kalu so we phoned him and arranged to meet up in the Former Governs Compound.

The compound was very grand. It was the kind of place that Japanese tourists go nuts over, wide lawns and 3 or 4 huge white buildings in a circle. All of the lawns were named; there was George Bush JR Lawn and the Bill Clinton fountain, Ndubisi lawn and whatever. I would have loved to snap these things but did not feel it would be correct behaviour, we met Benson in a large room with a marble floor and big sofas the air conditioning was on so strong it made my skin prickle. Benson offered to take me on a tour of the grounds so I accepted. The air was deliciously warm and sweet, the kind of air you only have when you go on holiday and you are fully relaxed. The guest house resembled a posh hotel, there was two places for meetings and offices, a swimming pool, tennis courts, play area for children and a BBQ plaza. How I wished that I could have stayed for a BBQ there was two modern tribal style huts with big carved wooden seats with animal hair on and a small bar section for taking cold beers and cocktails.

When we went back we were called for dinner. I entered a big dining room with a buffet set up reminiscent of my days working in Holland House Hotel. Benson put me second in the line ‘ladies first and all that’. When I got closer to the food my little heart sank. I was holding a china plate and a knife and fork but everything else was foreign. I hadn’t even seen half of the things on the table so I picked my friend garri & Augsi soup and sat down one place setting next to Orji Uzor Kalu so that he would not see me embarrassing myself. Then a man with a better sounding English accent than my own came over and asked me if I was ok. I said yes. Then he pointed out that most people would not be trying to eat garri with beans. So I sent my dinner away and tried again with help. I took fried rice, some unrecognisable yet pretty tasty section of chicken carcass and some vile coconut rice. Benson came and apologised for my embarrassment and we spoke about him coming to England and how he found our food. After dining we briefly caught Former Governor but he was in tennis gear so it was not really an appropriate time. I was not too bothered because I had enjoyed an interesting evening and was mulling over if I stood any chance of getting invited back to eat hamburgers and drink cocktails and white wine. Martha and Rev were quiet in the car and seemed pretty pissed off at how late it had got and how unproductive the evening was and how we still had someone to visit and why am I fussing about chieftaincy and there is armed robbers about this area and whatever.

Friday 25th April- My frist television appearance and shopping for Cheiftancy!!

In the morning Benson took us to the Government House to meet the Chief of Staff to the Governor of Abia State and Deputy Chief of Staff to the Deputy Governor of Abia State. The Chief of Staff was a very friendly man who studied in the USA so had a jolly American accent. His was wearing bright traditional style clothing that looked like it was patterned with mitochondria. I was also wearing a traditional wrapper that I had made into an English style pencil skirt and a puffy sleeved shirt my own has yellow horses on jumping in green grass. He seemed to enjoy the effort I have been making and was happy to look through photos in my camera of our residents in Amaudo 1 and the ever so photogenic bunch at Amaudo 2. When we went to see the Deputy Chief of Staff to the Deputy Governor of Abia State, he was also very friendly and had spent time living in America. He was interested in the rehabilitation work going on in Amaudo because he himself spent some time working in a celebrity rehabilitation in America, I feel we could share some very interesting both sad and funny stories if it wasn’t for patient confidentiality. He decided that he would film us for the television and some photographers also came in to snap us for the paper. V/Rev did a speech on Amaudo and he then made a response. In his response he gave me a very long and grand introduction about how much I had sacrificed and suffered to leave my wonderful country and come through the dessert to suffer in Nigeria and blah blah blah…he made me blush because its not like that at all. I have not really suffered in Nigeria minus my throwing up at passport control, lost baggage, broken computer, broken I pod but other than that I have been comfortable. He praised my service and asked for people to be encouraged by my coming to Nigeria and to make plans to do voluntary work themselves here in Nigeria. He also promised to find me a suitably fine Nigerian man so that I will marry a Nigerian and come to live here. I couldn’t help laughing a little. I hope the camera didn’t catch my face at that point because it could be interpreted in the wrong way. Maybe I will marry a Nigerian. Who knows? I certainly seem to be given quite a large amount of choices over here. Two residents asked so far… Comfort said she will marry me for 100 Naira, Promise said he would marry me for 3,000 naira. Eunice the nurse said I am welcome to marry her brother and the list continues.

When we got back to Bensons office we spoke about my cheiftancy. He called two secretaries and a driver and told them to take me for lunch and then to the market to pick clothing and then to the tailor to get my measurements. They were under strict instruction to look after me well, give me good advice and not to allow me to walk any distance in the sun. The car must be used whenever we were going along a road. I should not enter bike. Travelling out in this manner felt very funny. It was like that stupid chick flick where the clumsy, geeky ugly girl gets told she is actually a princess and they start treating her like one and she goes ‘Oh deary me! What’s going on? How do I do this? What’s so special about me?’ For lunch I ate a chicken pie. It was funny being the only one eating and I got a bit self-conscious. Bensons girls were tall and slim with long legs and pretty faces. It felt especially funny for them to be dressed more English than I did. I began to wonder what I was looking like, if it was funny to be in Nigerian wrapper tailored clothing. Its quite ironic how greater lengths you can see some people here go to fixing weave-on to get Caucasian style hair, wearing western clothing, and its not uncommon to use bleach to lighten the skin. I can’t help wondering how they feel about me enjoying the wrappers, fixing attachments over my own hair (although it irritated me so much it only lasted 4 days!) and settling in to the Nigerian cuisine. I am always getting told off for scratching my bites because it makes them red and scatters my skin. I keep telling them that I do not really care, in England people do not admire my electric white skin and I would rather put on fake tan or tights before wearing a skirt. I am not sure if I should admit it but it does feel quite nice having my bright white skin admired I am so use to thinking it is a bad thing….will I reach for the fake tan as soon as the English summer times comes? I can not even really imagine being in England. My friend Laura Carter has just returned from her travels and said that English is miserable, cold, rainy, expensive, boring and she wishes she were still away.

When we got to the market we had our first disagreement. My chief schema was different to their own, I wanted to be wearing george (an expensive wrapper that is characterised either by looking similar to Scottish tartan or having embodied open flowers on) and a lace blouse. They said this was for older women and because I am young and petite I should wear a lace shirt and blouse. I was not convinced because I do not really like lace but I do not want to be laughed at so I phoned Benson. He said that if I was confused I should just buy both and decide on the day! He is too good to me. I was then taken to choose high heel shoes and a matching handbag. I feel slightly bad about how much money I am spending of his. I feel it will be a very grand day. When I got home I phoned mum and told her to send out my make up because the girls had serious concern I had left it all in England and that I would need it for my Cheiftancy. I have actually missed make up a hell of a lot. My skin has been very poor and coming out in spots and because I am white everyone notices it and for some strange reason I get people thinking that my misfortunate skin is an exciting topic of conversation. It can/does knock my confidence, but over here you just have to remember that it is not considered rude nor is it intended to cause any offence, it just takes some getting use to.

Tuesday 24th April -Going to Prision on Marthas Birthday

Bro Philip promised to take me to the prison today with Chidi from CPP. I was feeling excited because I have not gone out with Bro Philip yet. 10 minuets later I was made to feel disappointed because Chidi let us down by telling us that the vehicle is double booked so he cancelled on us…..20 minuets later I was feeling determined because we decided that we would go all the way to Aba by public transport. We took a bike to Bende, a bus to Umuahia, then another bus to Aba and finally a bike to the prison. It was pretty hectic. Bus drivers here use bettered old mini vans as standard, they pack a criminal amount of people inside then drive like they stole it. I really hate buses. Nether the less I was feeling proud about our adventure and was not as bothered about public transport as I have been. Maybe I am becoming a Nigerian?

In the prison we saw some cases of prisoners. One brother and sister had got together and murdered somebody. Another man accidentally shot and killed a man whilst hunting. One man fought with his brother who then died later as a result of the blows he had received in the fight. The court seemed quite causal to me compared to my own experience of sitting in court in work experience when I was 15 and from the numerous ‘CSI Crime Scene Investigation’ and ‘Law and Order’ episodes I have watched. There was one sad case where a man was a police officer and they were coming to a scene where armed robbers had gone on a rampage of steeling, wrecking and raping. They found the man responsible and arrested him. A few days later they had to grant bail and he disappeared. His family made a petition to accuse the police of murdering the criminal and the police handed over their leader. Since 1994 they have done nothing to get him freed from jail.

When we got back Martha was in a very cheerful mood which made me happy because she has been down for the past few days. She dressed herself up beautiful and enjoyed the ceremony. It felt a little weird celebrating a birthday in such a formal way in the Chapel complete with prayers, a sermon and hymns and speeches but from her face you could tell she felt touched and appreciated the efforts made.
I made a speech of apology firstly about the damage done to the cake and secondly for the original appearance of the cake even before it got squashed,

We cut the cake and she had purchased 3 crates of mineral (coke/fanta/sprite/mountain dew etc…). So all the staff and residents ate cake and biscuit’s, drank mineral and we played music so everyone could dance and be happy. Comfort loves to dance a lot, I was upset not to see her face at the service so slipped out to find out what she was up to. I found her lying in bed feeling sick, she started whimpering when I tried to get her up and tempt her with cake and mineral. She said she would rather sleep which was very out of character because Comfort never ever goes to bed!

Wednesday 23rd April -Royal Cross Hospital

Wednesday 23rd April
Today we went to visit Pat the nurse at Royal Cross Hospital. It was a good experience if slightly surreal. Going there was like stepping into the filming of an Oxfam aid appeal. I felt very lucky to be experiencing such a place and getting to walk around the wards in real life. The Hospital is short on staff but there is an amazing sense of team work and community where the nurses treat the patients but the families of the patients are the ones that cook for everyone and come together to do all of the washing to keep the going.


We stopped by Crunchies to get the cake. I was on the phone to Caroline & Kate from Amaudo UK at the time so left V/Rev T to go in on his own. The previous day he had been looking at wholesome fruitcake in loaves and circular shapes so I was horrified to open the box to find a frosted green and yellow cake. It was pretty hideous looking and I was worried what Martha would say because I know I had been laughing at those cakes so much when I first saw them. I suppose green on yellow may be better than pink on blue but I still was pretty shocked at his choice and he was surprised at my reaction.

When we got to Bende Rev David stopped our car and when Martha and V/Rev were doing something he entered the car to talk to me. When we saw Martha returning he lent over to open her door and lay his whole body over the cake pressing down at least 5cm. I shouted on him and was very cross. Now Martha not only has to have a green birthday cake she is also being given a squashed one.

I decided that I would loose the hair tonight now that Sister and Pat have both admired it. I half want to keep it to show Benson but he missed his chance on Tuesday. The texture is not like that of my own hair it is rough and itchy against my skin and your not able to wash your hair with attachments in because it makes it smell very bad. Pulling it out made me sympathise with how much pain all these girls are going through to keep themselves looking and feeling fine. I felt a guilty relief to be finding soft, smooth English hair underneath that I can run my fingers through and comb neatly in 60 seconds.